Do you feel the presssure?  What pressure?  The pressure to be perfect and to win the game of life.  But one day, or perhaps everyday for your entire life, your body gets sick, you become disabled, your heart is broken, you have that first panic attack, etc.  You may feel hopeless about your circumstances.  Your dreams and goals are set on fire.  The game of life isn’t much fun when you have no chance of winning.

Here is the moment that one realizes that life doesn’t need to be a game.  The bigger picture shows us that living life as a game is something a lot of people do.  They aren’t having that much fun though.  This blog is about exploring a more sane and compassionate way of life.

This blog is about the inner you and how the outer you can be managed through mindfulness practice, psychology, and philosophy.

My name is Ryan.  I have struggled with anxiety disorders and depression for over 15 years.  Six years ago I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Bowel Disease and subsequently Osteoporosis.  I’ve loved and lost (divorced twice).  I’ve exited a cult and have no family.  I’ve studied social work and psychology and had to drop out because of panic disorder.  I’m an introvert and a recluse.

I can relate!

Despite the difficulties all around me, they are not who I really am.  They do not need to define ‘my life’.  There is something more than possessions, fame, health, pleasure, and the slew of secular measures of success that we think we need to be happy.  There is a peace and benevolent reality to be found.

This blog will be about my journey with and without mindfulness.  It is my hope to share myself with you.  I’d like to think that despite all my limitations, that I can make a difference simply through presence.

I draw inspiration from numerous sources.  Of particular note, my philosophy on living is deeply impacted by insight meditation instructor and author Jack Kornfield and spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle.  I also draw from psychologists such as Albert Ellis, Carl Rogers, Carl Jung, and more.  I am spiritual but not religious.  Buddhism, as I present it here, is meant to be taken as a psychology and philosophy.

This blog is about me.  Yet, I believe I am interconnected with all life.  This is meant to be a safe place for all.