What’s an Empath? Well, my general understanding is that it’s a person who is greatly affected by the energy and emotions of others. Empaths tend to be somewhat introverted. Being in crowds can be difficult for an Empath because of all the noisy energy. Empaths are really super sensitive to the energy vibrating off of others. From what I’ve read, it’s considered a gift but one that can cause many years of suffering as one needs to learn how to protect themselves from the negative energies that are all around.
I used to believe in this phenomenon. I used to believe in a lot of new-age type things. I was introduced to the idea of Empaths and to Twin Flames by a woman I loved very much. But in the end, she hurt me and abandoned me. She became the antithesis of all the “love” she preached. My reaction was that I stopped believing in Empaths and in Soul Mates and in Twin Flames. How could these sacred phenomenons exist if the one person I knew so intimately seemed to be, in the final analysis, full of BS.
Today, I found myself reading some random person’s blog. It’s not the first time and won’t be the last time that I found myself developing a little crush on the blogger. It’s completely irrational because I don’t know them and they don’t know me. They could be my polar opposite. I love potatoes and they might love something I hate, like escargot. I play guitar and they might be a rapper. I think rainy days are romantic and they might find them depressing. Truly, why crush on a stranger?
Being a psych nerd I’d point to projection and transference. I project my desire to be desired and to have the fairytale love of my life. That could be it. Or, maybe it’s transference. I find something similar in them, even something very tiny and insignificant and suddenly I start attributing the qualities of a lover to them unconsciously. These would be rational explanations of my irrational feelings. Afterall, how many of you day dream of being with that one person who gets you, who is “home”, who loves you unconditionally? Am I alone in desiring that? Probably not. This world is pretty love sick if I can relate all this to a common chronic illness.
But aside from a psychological interpretation, the thought flashed within my mind, “Is this that Empath crap?” Truly, facets of projection and transference would be common to the Empath experience. I can’t say for certain that something like this makes me a believer again, but it does help me become open to the idea of “yes, maybe” once again.
The mindful response within me is simply this: That I don’t claim to know. It’s what Zen Buddhism calls “beginner’s mind”. The mindful response within me is to open my heart and to notice the flutter that accompanies the crushing. It feels… slightly delicious and yet, slightly sad. I am just going to sit here and feel it.
the mindful crutch 